Day 89: Transitions & Changes: How I’m Handling them

Why I haven’t written, what’s been my biggest three struggles, and probably tomorrow, what a day in my life has been like.

In the last few months I have catapulted myself into so much change – a completely different life than the one I was living in March.

I found myself a job working as a guide for a travel company, went to a new country, and am living in another country for the summer.

It’s been surreal living this life – especially for the first 7 weeks when I was in St. Croix. I’ve been dreaming of this forever. But to keep it real, there’s been a couple of things that have made it tough. Which, will also explain why I haven’t written much lately.

If you don’t know me, you might be surprised by my biggest struggle. If you do, well then you know I’ve lived alone on and off for a couple of years and enjoy my alone time and creative freedom. You’d also know I am very “uniquely” regimented aka to my friends’ despise, I’m in bed by 10 pm and wake up at 5 am. I’d also exercise regularly and prioritize personal projects like writing. All of this was doable in St. Croix.

But now, across the ocean, working and living foreign countries, there have been factors to make it difficult to me, an American regimented introvert. But you know of course I say bring it on….that’s why I signed up for this afterall.

But I figured for fun, I’d share with you what it’s really been like for me….an “adaptable” person, to succumb to these changes.

Comfort zones and personal space have been stretched thin. 🙂

Here’s my biggest struggles: the language barrier, time zone differences, and alone time.

I’ll dive into the toughest one first: Alone time

The hardest part since I left for Iceland on June 17th has not been the language barrier nor the time zone change – although they have proved challenging. The hardest part has been finding finding the time for myself to recover digest and restore. I’ve been “on” and in a social environment almost 24/7.

As an introvert, meaning I get my energy from alone time, I’ve found it extremely difficult to replenish and feel grounded. For me, feeling grounded means having the time to focus my energy inward – to get my to-do list right, to keep myself focused on my goals, and to digest the day’s events. Being around people all the time can be overly stimulating and overwhelming.

I have felt high amounts of anxiety trying to adapt to this change but basically it’s forced me to get creative and do whatever I can to regain my energy. Such as waking up earlier to do yoga or going for a run, or even staying in for a night while the rest explore the town or have drinks.

I really like to be in my own little world contemplating my thoughts and letting my creativity guide me. I am learning a lot about myself and my boundaries. I am also questioning what ones can be altered and what ones must remain for my sanity.

Time Change + the sun

First off, anyone with a dialed circadian rhythm can relate to this one. In a nutshell, I wake and set with the sun. Or so I thought.

Let’s first start with the time change. Iceland is 4 hours ahead of New York + STX. France is 6 hours ahead.

But, get this one.

The sun in Iceland doesn’t set until midnight. MIDNIGHT. And it still doesn’t reach total darkness. Ever heard of the midnight sun? This is where it lives….in Iceland.

I experienced it first hand when around 5pm I was walking around and it felt like it was noon. The sun was high in the sky.

Iceland gets 22 hours of sunlight in the summer… The sun literally doesn’t go “down” until midnight, rising again around 3am. During that time it’s dusk,

So, with my nicely trained inner clock and daily regimen, you can imagine my body has had a hard time adapting. Even in France I was surprised! Apparently, Europe is higher in latitude. ya’ll, cuz the sun doesn’t set here until 10pm in the Summer, with dusk lasting til nearly midnight. Okay, 11:30pm.

II’ve had to trash my inner clock all together because my host family in France they are night people and once, on my second night here, we were out until 1am visiting Mont St. Michel.

have since adjusted towakingg around 6:45am now. It’s no 5am but it works for now.

Language Barriers

I learned in Iceland there is only one universal language and that is – love. Even the stop signs are red “hearts” there.

But unfortunately, hugging the store associate in France won’t let her know what I want anymore than speaking full on english to her will.

In Iceland, luckily the language barrier wasn’t very strong. Did I mention the street signs? I had very little problem communicating in Iceland. Except for learning and pronouncing the names of the cities and churches…that was part of the training. It was obviously more of a challenge than for example, learning the names of the towns and churches of a tour in America. Can you say Grundafjordur?

In France, I noticed the struggle much more. My Uber driver in Paris had to cancel on me because we couldn’t communicate to coordinate pick up at the airport.

Although I know some French from grade school, it’s been 10 years since my last class and even though I try, I’m terribly rusty and have forgotten a lot of terms. Luckily, my host family speaks English very very well, but it’s at the supermarkets, cafes, and with transportation that I have to pull strings from my lost and broken french.

What I have noticed, is that being in two different countries, language is the road to making and feeling connections.

There have been several times at a restaurant in Rennes that I’ve felt small and insecure trying to read the menu and place my order. I do my best but sometimes I feel really terrible and hope I haven’t insulted them with my horrible broken french.

I will say, my ear for both the Icelandic and French languages are developing and although my goal of becoming bilingual is still far out of reach, I’m making tiny little steps towards it.

How I’m Handling the Stress

I’d like to say I’m handling it well and with flying colors but that would be lying.

I’ve felt pretty anxious at times and completely over my head. But I wouldn’t change it for anything because it’s all a part of the journey….something I have dreamt about doing forever and if I didn’t finally go out and do it, I’d still be in Buffalo scratching my head and wondering.

I’m super grateful to be living this life. I just ask for grace from myself and try and focus on the micros instead of the macros at this time. If anyone has any tricks or tips with dealing with life transitions please share I’d love to hear!

I have found that by being open about it with people I can relate to, I have helped lift a little weight off my chest. I have also found that exercise, especially here in France, has been hugely helpful – running, walking, yoga.

The thing I remind myself when things are feeling scary or new is that humans are extremely adaptable. They can adapt to anything. To make that a little more powerful going forward, maybe I’ll switch it to – “I am extremely adaptable. I can adapt to anything”.

So, it’s Sunday here and we finished lunch hours ago. It’s time to go for a run as it cools down. The neighbors are coming over tonight for a soiree of drinks and aperitifs….more people, yay!

Rumor has it there’s going to be a handsome Swiss sailor there.